What If?
by kbecks41319
Summary: What if their whole world changed? What if one night led to so much more? AU, season 4.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Yes, I like making Meredith pregnant. No, I don't get paid for it. I wish.

**A/N:** Just so no one eats my soul or anything, this is set in season 4-ish. Izzie left Seattle with Denny after he received his transplant. So, I don't need any Izzie/Alex fans coming to bite my head off. I love them together, but I also happen to love this pairing as well. Don't worry, though, blondie will make an appearance later on :) Enjoy!

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><p>"He's gone."<p>

Her voice is barely there, just loud enough for the man sitting on his bed to hear as he stares out the window that the rain is drumming against. He doesn't even acknowledge her, something that has the blond shuffling her feet. She tucks her bottom lip securely between her teeth as she waits quietly, about to turn and leave when he finally responds.

"He was gone before, he came back."

"He cheated," she whispers.

He's on his feet immediately, knocking over a small mountain of pizza boxes, fists balled up at his sides as his eyes grow angry. She watches as his jaw clenches and then unclenches. He's fighting a battle with himself - one they both know he's about to lose.

"He's not coming back," he tells her quietly, his voice trembling.

She shakes her head before he even finishes his sentence, moving inside his room and sitting on the edge of the bed. It takes her a moment of quietly staring at the heap of clothes in the corner before she finally finds her voice.

"It didn't feel right - after.. It just felt wrong, forced. I think he could tell."

"You didn't.. You haven't told him?" The bed sinks down as he sits beside her, their arms touching.

"I tried - I did but.." She clears her throat, glancing briefly at him. "I was going to tell him tonight, before you got home.. He came here smelling like a French whore, didn't even try to deny it. Just yelled and said it was my fault - that I was the one who made him go somewhere else to scratch his itch."

"Isn't that what.."

"Yeah, and I mentioned that - which had him laughing like a bit of a lunatic and mumbling stuff I couldn't understand. I think he was drunk. I just told him to pack his stuff and leave. He told me to burn it." She shrugs, studying her fingernails.

"It's not your fault."

"It kinda is," she laughs. "I slept with you first. Though, technically we weren't together at the time.. I think he could tell that something happened between us - I just don't think he knew exactly how far it had gone."

He's quiet as the storm outside rages on, lightning illuminating the room briefly. She's waiting for him to say something, anything, to let her know what's going to happen - what this means for them.

"He'll try coming back to you," he tells her quietly.

"I can't," she mutters as she plays with her fingernails. "It doesn't feel right.. like I'm cheating."

She doesn't dare say that it feels like she's cheating on him. They had never discussed what it had meant when they had slept together a month ago. They had just pretended it never happened; not that it made it go away. Because it hadn't. She still saw his face above hers when she closed her eyes, could still feel him on top of her, inside her, surrounding her with everything that was simply him.

"What are you going to do about work?"

"I'll talk to the Chief," she manages after a moment. "He's always had a soft spot for me and I think he will understand. I can always work underneath Nelson - he's no Derek Shepherd but I've heard he's pretty good."

"Or you could follow Izzie and head to Tacoma," he smirks a bit, though she can tell from his voice that he wouldn't let her leave without a fight.

"And leave this big house to just you," she shakes her head with a smile. "I don't think so. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself."

"I'd let Bambi and Little Grey move back in," he states with a nod. "Wouldn't make them stay in that crappy apartment they're in."

"Hey! I didn't kick them out. George left because crappy events led to crappy decisions and Lexie offered to split the apartment rent with him after the divorce with Callie because she had a major crush on him."

"Right, right." He chuckles as he nods again, a low rumble of thunder making her jerk beside him.

"I told George he could move back in after the divorce, he decided not to take that offer. Nothing else I can really do." She shrugs, subconsciously moving closer to him.

"We're both messed up and we both have commitment issues." His voice is serious now, pulling her out of the playful conversation they were using as a decoy. "You're the only real friend I've got and I don't want to screw that up."

"Who said we're going to screw this up?"

"I'm just saying, what if." He shoots a look at her, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't think it'd be as fun staying here if we screw this up."

"Then what? We just act like nothing happened and go on with our lives?" She frowns at him as she rubs her arms, willing the goose bumps that had appeared away.

"Meredith," he sighs her name as he rubs his eyes. "I just think-"

"Forget it," she cuts him off abruptly as she stands up and heads for the door, suddenly not able to be around him. "Forget it ever happened."

She slams the door behind her, causing herself to jump, before making her way down the hallway into her room. Glancing around the room, she groans to herself as she pulls the sheets and cover off the bed. Her room smells like Derek, her stomach churning at the simple thought of him laying in bed beside her. Shaking the images out of her mind, she heads to the closet to grab a clean set of sheets.

"Stupid men," she mutters to herself as tears sting her eyes. Ignoring the moisture clouding her vision and the emotions swirling inside of her, she starts putting the new sheets on.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** This story is coming along.. slowly... I own nothing.

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><p>"So he's gone? Completely?"<p>

"Except for at work," she confirms.

"No more hearing about how he didn't do something or how he did do it but he did it wrong?"

"Cristina," she sighs as she rubs her neck. "He cheated. I'm pretty sure hell will freeze over before I take him back."

"I'm just asking," her friend shrugs. "He is McDreamy, after all."

"More like McDouche," she mutters as she pulls on a pair of scrub bottoms.

"I tried to get that as his nickname once, I remember being yelled at."

"I was young and naïve. His hair blocked out my rational side."

"You? A rational side? Say it isn't so," the dark haired woman smirks as she steps into her scrub bottoms and ties them.

"Stick to your day job, Yang," Meredith bites out as she smacks her elbow against the lockers. "Shit."

"Smooth. Did you talk t-" Her question is cut off as the person in question walks through the door, obviously late and rushing as he avoids both of them.

"Oh yeah," Meredith groans as she pulls her top over her head roughly, pushing her hair out of her face before slamming her locker and heading out of the room.

"Wait! Mer," Cristina's voice calls out behind her, something she ignores as she quickly does her hair into a loose ponytail. "Damn, he must have really screwed up. You're more mad at him than Derek, aren't you?"

She gives only the shortest of nods before shrugging her shoulders, grabbing a few charts from the nurses station as her friend does the same. Looking briefly over the status on her patients and the few new ones she had, she refocuses her attention to the conversation.

"He doesn't want to screw up the only real friendship he has at the hospital," she shrugs again - trying to shake it and him off.

"Want to kill him? I'll help hide the body."

"Thanks but no thanks," she laughs as she rubs her stomach, frowning slightly as closes her eyes and tries to make the feeling of being sick go away. "I just want to get through today and then enjoy my weekend off."

"Still can't believe you're taking that," Cristina announces with disgust.

"Yeah, well - I feel like I've been ran over by a train after being thrown off a ferry. I need to sleep for three days straight and get everything back in line." Itching the corner of her right eye, she turns around the corner before a yawn escapes her lips. "Iz called at two last night, wanting to tell me about a surgery she was assisting on. I wanted to strangle her until she reminded me that I did the same thing about a month ago."

"Blondie called me too, she was just lucky I was still awake."

"Do you two think any work is going to get done while you stand around gossiping like a bunch of old women?" Bailey's voice interrupts their conversation, causing them both to turn around and look at the shorter woman.

They both shake their head at the same time, keeping their mouth shut as Bailey stares them down quietly before she shakes her head back at them and starts to walk away.

"Tell Stevens hi when you talk to her again."

Meredith's pager starts going off before either of them can get a word out, causing her to look down at it before groaning and rubbing her face. "That's Chief, Derek probably told him what happened."

"I thought you talked to him already."

"I made an appointment, he wasn't here when I came in."

"It's not like it was your fault, he's the one who stuck his penis in some other chick."

"Thanks for that image," Meredith shudders as she blinks her eyes several times - as if it could make the images go away. "When I wake up with nightmares I'll be calling your ass."

"Penis nightmares? Count me out," Cristina laughs before her own pager goes off, causing her to stop and check it. "ER. Enjoy your meeting, I'm going to cut people open."

"Ass," she calls out after her, turning on the spot to head in the opposite direction. This was going to be fun.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Sorry updates are taking so long. I don't have a stable internet connection and the one I do get is crappy as hell. Hope you all enjoy! As always: I do not own anything.

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><p>"Meredith," the chief calls out warmly as she steps into his office, a smile coming to her lips.<p>

"Chief," she responds respectfully as she crosses over to the chairs in front of his desk. He's got a look in his eyes and she can't tell if it's good or bad; she's hoping for the first.

"Derek found me as soon as I got here," he informs her as he settles into his own chair, clasping his hands together in front of him.

"So he remembers coming to my house drunk as hell, admitting to cheating on me, breaking up with me and telling me to burn all of his stuff?" She hadn't meant to say all of that - really, she hadn't, but it had just tumbled out of her mouth.

"Uh," Richard blinks before shaking his head. "He informed me that you two had split and that you'd probably be requesting to be put on Nelson's service but he didn't tell me why. And that explains it.."

The older man shakes his head as he leans back in his chair, bringing his arms behind his head as he let out a soft sigh. "You two really know how to break all the rules."

"If you can put me on Nelson's service I would really appreciate it, Chief. If not, I can deal with Derek." She's ignoring his last statement; she doesn't even want to go there.

"I'll see what I can do but I can't make any promises, Meredith. We'll have to clear it with Bailey, too." He leans forward again, moving some papers around on his desk as he studies her carefully. "Are you sure that's all that's bothering you?"

She's fidgeting again. She hadn't even noticed it until he asked if something else was bothering her. She sighs and places her hands in her lap, concentrating on calming them. "I'm fine," she promises. It's a lie though. Her stomach is churning and she feels as if she'll be sick at any moment. Stretching the grin on her lips, she starts to stand up.

"Can I go now?"

"If you need anything, let me know." He waves her off, still studying her.

She simply nods as she stands up, making a quick exit out of the door and into the nearest bathroom. She's bent over a toilet the next thing she knows, emptying the breakfast she ate that morning from her stomach. Great, this was all she needed: to be sick. She makes her way to the sink, rinsing her mouth out as her pager beeps. Throwing away the used napkin, she reads the pager and sighs as she heads out the door.

**x0x**

"Boring shift," she mutters as she strips out of her dirty scrubs. "I had surgeries with Derek lined up all day today and, of course, he reassigned them to different residents. So, aside from the one lady with a GSW to her leg, I was stuck doing paperwork all day and checking on my patients."

"You're the one who wants to relax all weekend," Cristina smirks. "Your weekend just started a little earlier than you expected."

"If I could stab you and get away with it, I think I would at this point." Meredith groans as she tugs on a pair of her jeans, tugging the hair tie out of her hair. She pauses in the middle of pulling her shirt on, rushing over to the trash can to throw up what little bit of lunch she had ate.

"Are you getting sick? I swear, if you give me some stomach virus before you disappear for the weekend I will personally push you off the top of this hospital." Her friend scrunches her face up as she takes a step back.

"That's the third time today," she sighs as she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "I think one of my patients gave it to me."

"You can keep it and your patient."

"Thanks. I think I'll skip Joe's tonight and just head home. I need to clean the house before Izzie gets there Saturday and deems Alex and I unfit to live together."

"I don't think a nuclear bomb would clean that place," Cristina mutters to herself as she heads for the door.

"Izzie would probably cry if she sees it like it is," Meredith laughs as she leaves the locker room as well. "We've been using her old room for storage so I have to move the boxes up to the attic so Denny and her will have somewhere to sleep."

"Good luck with that. Tell Blondie to stop by if she's not too busy. It'd be nice to see her."

"Will do," she salutes with a grin as she slips out the side door. "Have fun working this weekend!"

"Have fun being a lazy ball of goop," Cristina yelled as she ran across the sleep and disappeared into Joe's bar.

Meredith shakes her head as she slides into her jeep, rubbing her hands together as she started the engine up. She was more than ready to start her weekend of relaxation.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I really didn't plan on this ending up this way.. but it kinda took over. All errors are mine. Yet, I own nothing.

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><p>Instead of cleaning like she had planned, Meredith finds herself sprawled across the couch as she watches the movie Alex had been watching last. She thinks it's called 'Legion' but she can't quite remember and has zero energy to get up and check. She's thrown up two more times, once on the way home and another as soon as she walked through the door, and it's made the cleaning appeal zilch.<p>

Her phones rings, bringing her out of the daydream she was in, forcing her to lean over to the coffee table and pick up the noisy object.

"Lazy ball of goop!" Cristina's voice was shrill through the phone, causing her to jerk it away quickly as she opens her mouth and tries to pop her ears.

"Ow, Cristina, what the hell?"

"Blondie's here with her hubby," she laughs. "And I'm betting you went home and collapsed on the couch and haven't cleaned a single room."

"Shit," Meredith mutters as she sits up quickly and looks around the house. "Keep her distracted for an hour. I can at least clean out her room so they'll have somewhere to sleep."

"No promises," came her reply as did the end of the phone call.

With a heavy sigh she pushes herself off of the couch, throws her phone back on the coffee table and turns the television off as she walks towards the stairs. Maybe she should've let Alex clean out the room when he had offered last week, it would've been one less thing for her to worry about.

"Why did she come early?" She groans as she climbs the stairs to Izzie's old room, staring at the boxes that cluttered the once clean room. "She better make me some damn brownies."

**x0x**

"I would have helped."

Alex's voice floats through the room, reaching her where she lays across the bed. She had powered through taking the boxes up to the attic before promptly falling on Izzie's bed, not caring if the blonde showed up and found her. She was beyond exhausted and felt sick to her stomach again.

"You weren't home," she mutters as she rolls onto her back.

"I offered to do it last week," he reminds her.

"I didn't exactly plan on getting sick," she grumbles at him as she pushes herself up, climbing to her feet and heading for the door where he's leaning.

"She just called, they're on the way." He steps out of her way, letting her pass before following her down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Why is she here a day early? I wanted to straighten the house up," she itches the back of her neck as she opens the refrigerator and stares for a minute before closing it again. "We're out of black olives."

"You hate black olives," Alex points out as he picks up the few cups on the table and takes them to the sink.

"I want some," she shrugs as she grabs the jar of peanut butter and hops up on the counter. "Is that a crime?"

"When you're Meredith Grey and you ask for black olives, yes. It could be considered a crime in the state of Washington." He hands her a spoon and moves to the refrigerator himself, pulling out a bottle of Ice House.

"Don't come near me with beer breath, I very well might throw up on you." She scrunches her face as she digs her a spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar, tilting her head to the side before looking at him. "Hand me the pickles."

"Sure, the smell of beer is going to make you sick but you can mix pickles and peanut butter." He rolls his eyes as he hands over the jar of baby pickles, shaking his head as he leans against the counter opposite of her.

"Comfort food," she shrugs as she pops the pickle in her mouth followed by a spoonful of peanut butter. "You can't tell me that you don't eat weird things, I've seen you put ice cream on a taco."

"I was drunk and George dared me to. You're completely sober and there's no one here but me."

"Wrong, Evil Spawn," Cristina tosses a peanut at his head as she walks into the kitchen, followed by the whole gang. "Look who I found at Joe's."

"I totally did not dare you to do that, you bet yourself that you could cause you were that drunk." George rolls his eyes as he sits down at the kitchen table next to Lexie.

"Meredith!" Izzie rushes over to her, bags and husband forgotten at the door as she throws her arms around the dirty blond sitting on the counter.

"Iz," Meredith grins as she moves her food out of the way for a hug before popping another pickle in her mouth. "Sorry about the house."

"I figured as much," taller woman responds as she looks her over before her eyes go wide. "Oh my God."

"I know, I look like shit. I think one of my patients at work gave me a bug or something.." She shrugs as she licks the peanut butter off her spoon, ignoring the small gasp that comes from Lexie.

"Right?" Izzie turns around and looks at the younger Grey, motioning to her older half-sister with a wave of her hand. "You see it?"

"Wait, what's happening?" Cristina squints her eyes at them before glancing at Meredith and what she's eating. Her own eyes go wide as she crosses the room and grabs her person by the wrist, jerking her off the counter and pulling her towards the door. "We have to talk. Now."

"Hey, I was eating!" Meredith huffs as she glances back wistfully at the peanut butter and pickles, giving up on that thought as Cristina simply tugs her out of the kitchen.

"Do not let him talk you into shaving your head again," Lexie warns George as she jumps up from her chair, following Cristina out of the room as Izzie trails behind her.

"Go talk with Alex while we handle Meredith." Izzie kisses Denny's cheek as she follows the line of women up the stairs, not bothering to look back.

"What just happened?" George frowns as he stands up and crosses the room, opening the fridge and grabbing two beers. "Want one?" He offers Denny.

"I think we may all need one before tonight is over with," the gruff man offers up as he walks to the counter, taking the beer and opening it up.

"You okay, Alex?" George glances at his friend as he takes a swig of the beer, not noticing the look Denny is giving the other man.

"You didn't," Denny questions as he steps back and stares at him.

"I did," Alex confirms with a half nod as he glances at his beer before looking at the man he had once considered his competition. "She isn't."

Denny simply laughs as George looks at them both, confusion coloring his face as he slumps against the counter and drinks his beer. "Oh, she definitely is," he says as he laughs again.

Alex doesn't say anything but downs the rest of his beer, staring at the floor as he tries to wrap his head around this new information. He's not sure what to say or do. When a beer is held out in from of him, he looks up and simply nods. "Thanks," he tells Denny as he opens it up and downs half of it. He wasn't sure if he wanted to remember tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Sorry this took so long, hope you enjoy :) I own nothing.

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><p>"What the <em>hell <em>is this all about, Izzie?" Meredith stomps her foot like a teenager straight out of a drama film and crosses her arms over her chest as she takes in the other three women who have cornered her in the bathroom.

"How many times have you thrown up today?" The bubbly blond ignores her question completely, fidgeting on spot as if she's itching to touch her friend.

"Five but I told you, one of my patients has a bug and I think they gave it to me."

"You definitely do not have a bug," Lexie laughs, popping a piece of candy in her mouth that she pulls from her pocket.

"You're cheeks-"

"They're fat!" Cristina interrupts Izzie, stepping closer to her person. "I didn't notice until Blondie here said something but you're getting fat."

"Rude much?" Meredith rolls her eyes and makes to break out of the bathroom, only to be stopped by Izzie.

"And you're glowing," the bubbly blond practically sings as she dances on spot.

"Oh no," the dirty blond shakes her head as she realizes exactly what they're saying, pushing her friends aside to throw the door open. "Derek and I haven't had sex in mon-"

Her feet refuse to take another step as her eyes go wide, her lungs sucking in a deep breath as she shakes her head harshly. Cristina's mind seems to have jumped on the same wavelength because suddenly her mouth drops open and she's standing in front of Meredith.

"Please tell me you used a condom, Mer."

"I, uh.." She shakes her head, blinking slowly as she leans against the doorframe and glances towards Izzie. "W-we didn't, no."

"Am I the only one missing something here, or..?" Izzie glances between Cristina and Meredith, eyebrow raised as she takes a quick glance towards Lexie.

"I'm obviously not in the loop on this one either," the younger Grey offers up as she studies her half-sister.

"Have you two completely lost your mind? I mean, sleeping together is one thing! But you're both surgeons. Residents. You do not have the time for a baby." Cristina's pacing now, shaking her head and muttering under her breath.

Meredith glares at her friend before taking in a deep breath as she turns to look at Lexie, choosing to ignore Izzie for now. "Did you leave that extra pregnancy test here?"

**x0x**

"So stupid," she mutters to herself as she stares down at the pregnancy test in her hand. The positive sign is glaring up at her, mocking her as she stands in front of the sink. She's supposed to let the three women waiting outside the door back in but she doesn't quite remember how to make her legs work.

"Mer? You okay?" Lexie's voice is tentative and close to the door, letting her know that they're right outside the door like she had suspected.

"To hell with this," Cristina huffs as she opens the door, all three of them piling in before shutting it behind them again. She's the first one to reach her side, taking the test straight out of her hand to look for herself. "Holy crap."

Izzie stands on her toes to look over Cristina's shoulders, eyes lighting up with joy as she dances on spot and squeals. "Oh my god, Mer."

"Wait," Lexie shakes her head as she looks from the positive test to Meredith. "If you haven't had sex with Derek.. whose is it?"

Meredith closes her eyes tight, glancing down at her hands that are clasped together tight before clearing her throat. "Alex," she murmurs just loud enough to be heard.

"I knew it!" Izzie claps her hands together, laughing as the other three look at her like she's lost her mind. "Talking to you two, on the phone about two weeks ago when you were at work, it's just.. The way you were. I knew something happened. I knew it but Mer was back with Derek and Alex only ever talks about work if I manage to get him on the phone."

"Seriously?" Lexie makes a face at her sister, tilting her head as she tries to imagine what was being implied. When she does, her whole body shudders and she shakes herself. "Why did I just do that? Ew. Ew, ew, ew."

"Smooth, Little Grey." Cristina snorts as she puts the test down on the box, turning to glance between Izzie and Meredith. "Blondie's more excited than you are, Mer."

"The pregnancy test is more excited than her," Izzie mutters before she punches her friend in the arm. "You could have told me!"

"Son of a whore," Meredith rubs her arm as she rebalances herself. "It's not exactly something you bring up over the phone, is it?"

"Why the hell not? You two whores bring up every other thing on the phone!" Iz throws her hands up in the air, groaning loudly. "It wouldn't have killed you to be all 'oh, by the way, I had drunk sex with Alex'."

"Uh," she glances at Cristina who offers no help before turning back to Izzie. "We weren't drunk."

"You two-" Izzie cuts herself off, turning to face Cristina. "I know you'll tell the truth. They have feelings for each other, don't they?"

"Blondie, look." Cristina glances at Meredith whose eyes are wide before she rolls her shoulders and turns back to the woman standing in front of her. "Yes, they do. Big, fat, sappy feelings for each other. And on that note, I need a drink."

The dark haired woman makes a quick escape out of the bathroom, leaving Lexie hiding her giggles as Izzie's lips split into a wide smile and Meredith stared at the spot her friend had disappeared from as if she could set it on fire.

"I think I'll go help her with that drink," Lexie offers when she gets control of her giggles for a moment, disappearing out the door as well.

"Traitor bitches," Meredith mutters as she leans against the sink.

"It's not a bad thing, Mer," Izzie offers as she stands in front of her friend.

"Yes, it is, can't trust them with anything."

"Not that," the bubbly blond laughs as she rolls her eyes. "Having feelings for Alex, it's not that bad."

"He told me he doesn't want a relationship." She shrugs, looking anywhere but at Izzie as she tries to think of how to leave the bathroom without being rude.

"Of course he did, he's Alex, but we both know there's more to him than that." Iz bumped her hip against Meredith's, offering a smile.

"I don't want to deal with this right now," she admits as she shakes herself, pushing away from the sink.

"Okay, but you'll have to soon. The baby won't wait just because you two are both stubborn." She smirks at the look Meredith throws her, linking arms with her as they head out of the bathroom. "But since I know you have no suitable food here, let's leave the boys to their drinking and head to the grocery store."

"Good idea," Meredith nods. "I've been craving black olives."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** A little shorter than normal, but I figured an update was better than none! I promise I'll get around to Alex and Meredith talking... I just like all the filler stuff :) Hope you enjoy. Reviews are always welcomed.

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><p>They manage to brush off the curious gazes and the questions that the three men throw at them, offering that they're going to get eatable food and maybe some more alcohol if they behaved. Although Meredith had felt Alex's eyes burning holes through her skin, she ignored his gaze and opted to grab her coat and keys instead before bolting out the door - leaving the other women to follow after her.<p>

"They know," Meredith mutters as they head down the road, eyes focusing out the window as Izzie drives (something they had all agreed on since Mer keeps having to throw up and Cristina was drunk and Lexie absolutely hated to drive right after receiving big news).

"Definitely," Cristina snorts as she pulls a can of beer out from nowhere. "When we went down, George was having himself a little freak out. Apparently he was late to that bandwagon."

"Judging from Alex's mouth, he did a spit take when he figured it out." Lexie sighs as she nudges Cristina's wandering hand away from her leg.

"This is a good thing," Izzie assures Meredith with a quick glance. "If he already knows, all there is left to do is talk about it."

"What if he doesn't want it?" She throws her eyes towards Iz, her heart somewhere near her ears as she wishes those words hadn't escaped her lips. Word vomit was her new thing, lately, and she absolutely despised it.

"Do _you_ want it?" Lexie cuts in, leaning forward in her seat as Cristina lays across the entire backseat.

"No," is Meredith's immediate reply but she bites her lip and shakes her head. "Yes. I don't know."

"Alex will do the right thing," Izzie says as they pull into the parking lot of the grocery store. "And so will you."

**x0x**

"I don't want him doing the right thing just because he feels obligated," Meredith says quietly a few minutes later, after Cristina drags Lexie off to the alcohol and Izzie pulls her towards the fruit. "I don't want him staying with me just because of the baby."

"Are you kidding me?" Izzie scoffs as she puts a bag of peaches into the shopping cart, rolling her eyes at her friend. "When we first walked in, you two were the picture of a domestic couple."

"We were the picture of roommates trying to clean up before our former roommate showed up and deemed us unfit to live together," Meredith snorts as she grabs a bag of apple, knowing they're Alex's favorite. "Except I just gave in to the fact that you'd still clean no matter what we did and decided to cure my munchies."

"And what was that about Alex eating ice cream on a taco?" The blond quirks her eyebrow as she grabs a thing of oranges and two packs of strawberries before directing them towards another aisle.

"They were drunk," Mer groans and shakes her head. "So very, very drunk and not listening to a word any of us said. And like any other party we throw, the whole damn hospital had been invited so Sloan was there with Torres and it was just.. bad."

"Ice cream on a taco, though? Seriously?" Iz screws her face up in disgust as she piles more things into the shopping cart, careful to grab two jars of black olives when Meredith throws her a look.

"Hey, he didn't throw it back up so I just called it good and went on my way. Our very drunk interns were throwing around expensive stuff." She shrugs her shoulder, grabbing two boxes of saltine crackers before leaning against the cart. "No more parties at the Grey Frat House."

"Of course there will be," Izzie exclaims as her eyes light up and she jumps with pure excitement. "Baby showers, birthday parties, Christmas parties and any other kinda party Aunt Izzie can possibly think of."

"Maaaaaaaaaaaarco!" The voice echoes through the store, stopping the two women in their tracks as they turn towards the source of it.

"Cristina, _shut up_!" They can actually hear Lexie stomp her foot, groaning softly at their friend's antics.

"Polo!" Meredith can't help but answer her, knowing that she won't stop until they find each other. Moments later the other two round the corner and Lexie is literally pulling Cristina along by the hair.

"She tried to attack a man. With her lips." The younger Grey hands the drunk over to her sister with a sigh, slouching against the cart. "I tried to explain that it was only acceptable in a bar but.. reason does not mix well with drunk Cristina."

"We probably should have let the boys deal with her," Meredith mutters before looping her arm through Cristina's before glancing at her sister. "No beer?"

"I left it over on aisle nine," she rolls her eyes with a pointed look towards their drunk friend. "It was either that or her and I figured it was for the best to keep her with me."

"Good point," Izzie laughs as they continue on with their shopping.

**x0x**

"So you're keeping the house?"

They had managed to finish their shopping, pick up the two 24 packs of beer and keep Cristina from doing anymore damage in the span of two hours. By the time they were done, Meredith's feet were killing her and she really couldn't wait until they got home to eat the olives.

"What?" She shakes her head, turning to focus on her friend while digging another olive out of the jar. "Of course, why would I get rid of it?"

"I didn't know if you'd want your kid growing up in that house, with all the history." Iz shrugs as they pull onto the road that Meredith's house is on.

"Uh, who is going to get her out of here?" Lexie scrunches her face up, glancing down at the sleeping Cristina in her lap.

"We'll just let the guys decide," Meredith shrugs as she digs in to get another olive. "Instead of turning into a whale, I think I'm going to turn into a fat olive."

"I wonder if you'll still hate those when you're not pregnant again, or if the liking for them will stick." Iz glances over at her curiously before returning her attention to the road to turn into Mer's driveway.

"Ask me after I pop this thing out," she mutters as she tosses another olive in her throat, ignoring the giggling coming from the back seat.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the slow updates, but I promise I won't leave any of these stories hanging..**

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><p>Hours later when she's hanging over the toilet, emptying the late dinner that Izzie had made from her stomach, she's surprised to feel hands pull her hair out of the way before a wash cloth appears in her line of vision.<p>

"Iz, I don-" But that is definitely not the blond's hands and there's no way that deep chuckle belongs to her either.

"Not Iz," he clarifies before taking the hair tie from her wrist and pulling her hair up into a loose ponytail.

"Definitely not," she murmurs before hanging over the toilet again, emptying what little was left in her.

"You're pregnant," he states after it's quiet a moment and she starts to wipe her mouth with the cloth. She's not sure that he realizes but his thumb is moving in soft circles just behind her ear, easing the headache beginning there. "Is it..?"

"One hundred percent yours? Yeah. I haven't had sex with Derek in months," she shrugs and folds the cloth in half before covering her eyes with it for a moment. She doesn't want to see his face, doesn't want his reaction etched in her mind forever. After giving him a moment or so to process it, she glances up at him and offers a tight smile. "Don't worry, it doesn't change anything. You don't have to worry about screwing anything up, I don't expect anything from you."

"Damn it, Mer," his eyes draw together as his lips thin and he studies her pale face. "I didn't - when I said that.. Look, you know how I am."

"A complete ass?" She pipes up eagerly, ignoring the dizzy spell that's trying to claim her as she pushes herself up.

"You didn't think I was an ass when you fell into bed with me," he points out with a deliberate smirk, trying not to let memories flood him - he couldn't allow for his mind to get lost in something that was so precious to him, so easily lost if the hands of time could reach it.

"Obviously I was having a lapse in judgment," she deadpans and tries to steady herself against the sink as he flushes the toilet. "Or maybe a midlife crises."

"A lapse in judgment that happened more than twice that night?" He quirks one eyebrow at her, reaching out without thought to grab her elbow when she leans unsteadily towards him. "You need to lay down."

"No, I need to rinse this taste out of my mouth and then I need to lay down." She gives him what she hopes is a threatening look as she pulls her elbow from him and reaches for the mouthwash. "I know how to take care of myself," she murmurs.

"Obviously," he mutters and moves to stand to the side of her, where he can see her in the mirror. "You're keeping it?"

Her eyes flash and she sees red momentarily as she swishes the mouthwash slowly in her mouth, before spitting it out and whirling around to jab her finger in his chest. "Of course, I'm keeping it. Just because you may not want it, doesn't mean I don't. I'm not going to punish this child because we were irresponsible."

"Woman, you are impossible," he sighs and rubs the spot she stabbed as he follows her out of the bathroom, leaving the light on for a guide into her room. "Did I say I didn't want it?"

"You didn't want me," she reasons as she pulls her covers to the side before climbing in, not caring that he's hovering at her side. "Why would you want a child that's part me?"

"That is totally not what I said, Mer, and you know it." He rolls his shoulders as she pulls the covers up close to her chin, his legs unsure as he moves to sit on the bed beside her. "But what I did say, was true. We both have commitment issues and we're a little messed up."

"And obviously I'll screw this kid up," she bites out as she turns on her side away from him, ignoring the hand that comes to rest on her elbow trying to turn her back over.

"You won't screw this kid up," he sighs and turns his body more towards her, scratching behind his ear when she doesn't say anything. "_We _won't screw this kid up. I may be a complete ass but I'm not going to let you raise our child alone."

"I already told you, I don't want anything from you." She pulls the covers up more, her voice coming out thick.

"Damn it, Mer," he frowns and studies her a moment before taking her by the shoulder and pulling her over towards him. "Why are you crying?"

"I tried being mad first," she huffs out as she jerks the covers back up, trying to block him out. "But my body didn't seem to want to be mad, it wanted to cry."

"Stop crying," Alex murmurs as he brushes the tears from her face with his thumb, eyeing her carefully for a few moments before running his tongue over his teeth. "Look, I'm never the first one to admit that I have problems with being in a committed relationship. Having someone, depending on them, it's never worked out for me before. My family sucks in all kind of wonderful ways that would give Ellis Grey a run for her money. I suck and I get that.. But I want this to work, I do. And that terrifies me."

She's quiet for a few minutes, merely staring up at him with watery eyes as she tries to get the hormones that's swamping her body to chill out. Licking her lips, she swipes at her eyes with the corner of the covers before thumping him on the chest. "You couldn't have said all of that last night? Ass!"

"Ow, abuse," he rubs at the spot with something between a smile and a frown on his lips. "What about that crap 'better late than never'? Don't I get any points at all?"

"Nope," she smirks as his face falls in disbelief before she smiles sweetly. "But if you go get me the jar of olives and some crackers, that will give you some."

"Aye aye, Captain," he says with a roll of his eyes, giving her elbow a quick squeeze before getting up and heading for the door. They could do this. He'd make damn sure of it.


End file.
